Two really crass ribald jokes to tell your mates

Posted on December 8th, 2007 by Richard Catto 15,465 views

The Traffic Warden

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted at me, "Oi, what’s your disability?"

I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off, you cunt!!"

The Busty Blonde

A man is in a queue at Pick n Pay and sees this busty blonde staring at him. He can’t believe his luck. Then she starts waving.

"Excuse me, do I know you?", he asks.

"Yes, I think you are the father of one of my kids", she says, proudly.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says, "Bloody hell, are you the whore I shagged on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a hair brush up my arse?"

"No!" she wails, completely embarrassed, "I’m your son’s English teacher!"

Tags: blonde jokes, Humour, jokes, quickies
Filed under Humour, jokes | 1 Comment »

Third prize is you’re fired, you fucking faggots!

Posted on December 7th, 2007 by Richard Catto 1,523 views

Something to cheer your Friday up!

Tags: alec baldwin, ed harris, glengarry glen ross, Humour, jack lemon
Filed under Fucking faggots | No Comments »

Perfect Holiday gift – Sarah Britten’s The Art of the South African Insult

Posted on December 7th, 2007 by Richard Catto 1,820 views

Perfect advert for this site, don’t you think?

The book is available online and also in Exclusive Book stores. Sarah has also published a second book in this series which will hit the book shelves shortly.

Also visit Sarah Britten’s The South African Insult blog where you will find a daily pithy quote that she has discovered somewhere.

In the interests of FULL DISCLOSURE, I and this blog have been quoted there.

Tags: Sarah Britten, The South African insult
Filed under Sarah Britten, The South African insult | 1 Comment »

Why do people still believe in God?

Posted on December 7th, 2007 by Richard Catto 3,276 views

I’ve been having a conversation with an interesting woman on my StumbleUpon who happens to be an Atheist. So last night I wrote her a response which forms the basis of this blog posting of mine.

I think people believe in God because Science has not yet answered many important questions.

For instance, we don’t really comprehend what life is. Not even in an insect, let alone our own species. We don’t know how to make something come to life.

I think if one day man gains the technology to actually bring an inanimate object to life, then that may be the tipping point where people lose their beliefs in God.

But until that Great Day dawns, men and women will continue to find solace in religion.

I find prayer comforting. I know that many people have preconceived ideas about what a Christian is and how a Christian should behave, but actually a Christian is just an ordinary person, like you and I.

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?
- Merchant of Venice, Will Shakespeare

What do you think about this?

Tags: animate, Atheism, atheist, belief in God, inanimate, life, soul, spirit
Filed under Atheism, God | 42 Comments »

Link exchanges and why I don’t do them anymore

Posted on December 7th, 2007 by Richard Catto 1,744 views

Earlier today, I received an email from someone who receives my Cape Town news newsletter.

They wrote to ask me HOW they could go about linking to me. Now, HOW TO LINK TO ANOTHER WEB SITE is not something they needed any instruction in. One glance at their web sites confirmed that they knew precisely HOW TO LINK TO SOMEONE.

So what did they really want from me?

Clearly they wanted to exchange links with me.

So I wrote them back an email which forms the basis for this little blog post of mine.

I don’t go for link exchanges anymore. Those have been ruled by Google as "bad links" and if Google detects people exchanging links for the sake of artificially boosting their PageRanks, then Google penalises all the sites involved.

Furthermore all advertisers who place adverts on my site are linked with the rel="nofollow" tag, to comply with Google’s webmaster guidelines.

Any link to any site or article on a site (which has not got the rel="nofollow" tag) must be a GENUINE reference to the site because you like it or consider it relevant, not because you have mutually agreed to link to one another or because one party has paid the other to do so.

So, by all means, link to my site, if you think it’s worthwhile linking to it.

I will link to you using a rel="nofollow" tag if you publish an advert with me.

If you write blog articles yourself that I find interesting and you join in and actively participate in my blogging community of friends, commenting on my articles, getting involved in my blog site then I will add you to my blogroll. That is completely acceptable in the eyes of Google. The more you participate via comments on various blogs, the more widely you will become known and the more readers you will amass over time.

So really, the bottom line is that to get a link to your site these days requires real work. It means getting involved in the (South African or other) blogging community and forming genuine relationships with people online.

If you want to befriend me online and blog with me and others, I’d encourage and welcome that.

From time to time, I also get requests from various people who I’ve encountered online that decide that they want to meet with me and / or exchange links with me BEFORE they have established any kind of presence in my ONLINE LIFE. That’s premature, I feel. There’s no strong connection between myself and the other person, and so my desire to get involved with them in any way is muted. It takes time to build real friendships online and it means taking the time to get to know people and establish common ground and exchange views.

Blogging is an excellent way to do that, I feel, but not everyone is interested in blogging, and so that becomes the litmus test, in a way, for me. I form friendships with fellow bloggers, and not so much with anyone else. In that way, I think blogging for me is what sports clubs are or were to many people – a place to meet and socialise and find and form new friends.

My parents, for instance, made lifelong friends from people that they met in their youth when they played badmington. I, myself, met my first wife via a sports club back in early 1993, before all this Internet stuff came along (for the general public anyway). We divorced in early 2001 and I am currently looking for Ms Right II.

My first encounter with the Internet was in early 1995. I quickly became seriously interested in it. Unfortunately, my first wife never shared my same passion for it. These days, I seek to befriend people through blogs (mine or theirs), most of which I find via amatomu, and I hope that they will remain my lifelong friends just as my parents enjoy.

So that’s where you’ll find me – on my blog. It’s my sports club, my social club, my book club, my hiking club. I befriend people here. You’re welcome to meet me here too by talking to me and others in the comments.

However, I do realise that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

Tags: Link Exchanges, online friends, social club
Filed under Link Exchanges, Online friendship | 4 Comments »